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"Play It Fucking Loud"

- Bob Dylan

By Starr Walker

August 6^th, 2016

"I don’t think the human mind can comprehend the past and the future. They are both just illusions that can manipulate you into thinking theres some kind of change"

It’s hard to find my breath and where its natural rhythm went as I find myself reflecting on where I have been, physically and mentally. It feels as if I have lived a thousand lives.

I suppose I’ll have to cover all of those lives over the course of 999 more posts.

I’ll start with cycling and (vaguely) how I got into it. Hopefully writing about it will remind me of sentiments that I have long forgotten or lost an appreciation for.

ad·ven·ture /adˈven(t)SHər, ədˈven(t)SHər/ noun 1. an unusual and exciting, typically hazardous, experience or activity.

The definition of living my life is certainly by definition, an adventure. It’s exciting. surprisingly remarkable (in it’s own way) and TYPICALLY HAZARDOUS.

Where did this particular adventure actually start? When did it become the definition of an adventure? What are the parameters that define it as an adventure at all?

Adventure VS Journey VS Living VS Existing VS Striving VS Thriving

I never set out looking for an adventure, but in reflection I have discovered that every day, every element, everything has been an adventure. Out of every experience from every day, out of all of the lessons that I have learned from every failure. Every mistake. I have decided to define a random freak accident as an adventure...

Write your story here. (Optional)

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

Cycling has been such a huge part of my life since I was 18 years old. At one point I unintentionally (I like to believe) let it [cycling culture] define me and become my identity when I was younger.

We all yearn to belong. To fit in somewhere. With other outcasts & likeminded people who share similar life styles and beliefs. A tribe. Community.

We always want to stand out, be unique & be an individual. But we need a common ground and a common place to feel safe. Validated. Accepted.

Write your story here. (Optional)

"I accept chaos, I’m not sure whether it accepts me"

I lived and breathed BIKES.

I still do. But for this story, I’ll speak in the past tense.

Cycling was my lifeblood.

A bike ride picked me up when I was (inevitably) down & it shined a beacon of light when I was (frequently) in a dark place.

Cycling brought calm to the storm that was (is) my mind.

At 20 I got a job in a bike shop. I stayed working in bike shops for the following 9 years. After about (the first) 5 years in the fixed gear world (racing SPRINT CLUB every other Sunday in cemeteries and in industrial parks, to racing legit track bikes on velodromes & speedways) I found myself wanting to go faster and further.

So, I bought a Cannondale Caad9 road bike & a USAC license.

Write your story here. (Optional)

"Everything passes. Everything changes. Just do what you think you should do"

On a damp, cold, Sunday morning in January of 2009, I rolled out with my team from the bike shop for our weekly team ride.

It was a loop that we did frequently. I knew every crack in the road. It had rained the night before and we were approaching a descent that had train tracks at the bottom, right where the curve in the road started. The hat trick… wet train tracks, at the bottom of a hill, right where the road curved & turned. I swear the only thing I remember is yelling reminders of how to approach the tracks back at the ladies behind me.

I have some vague memories from my time in the ICU.

I remember a point, in my hospital bed, where I told my boss (who was there visiting me) that “I don’t think I’ll be at work on Monday” and he said, “Starr, it’s Wednesday”

I’ll save the details of this life changing event and my life since then, living with a traumatic brain injury, for another post..

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"He who’s not busy being born is busy dying"

Since then, I’ve spent as much time as I can, in the dirt.

I started racing cyclocross in August of 2009 in an attempt to get back on the horse. And that has led to an entirely different adventure…

My love for being in the dirt and riding the techy stuff in ‘Cross races led me to my one true love, mountain biking.

I’ve spent more miles on knobby tires and in the dirt, than I ever have on pavement. I have not owned a road bike for over 7 years.

Until now.

Write your story here. (Optional)

"Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet"

I started the search for my road bike. There is so much out there. But there was something that I came across, that resonated with me. I had a visceral reaction when I read it. Just like when I put the needle on the record as it’s spinning and the music starts.

“VYNL bikes came into being because the bike industry stopped making the bikes we wanted to ride. So we made them ourselves.”

“…Our bikes, designed from the ground up to be no nonsense race machines, reflect a refreshingly honest approach to what a race bike should be. Honest race bikes. Made in the USA.”